August 10, 2021

063 Why Coaching is the #1 Leadership Skill Today with Michael Bungay Stanier, Ep. 031 Reissue

Often we hesitate around difficult conversations, not because we’re scared of the scary conversations; we’re just not clear on what we want. – Michael Bungay Stanier

Hey everyone! Welcome to the show. The topic we’re going to dig into right now is Why Coaching is the #1 Leadership Skill Today. I have a special guest with me, who, in my opinion, is the best person on the planet right now to talk about this particular topic – Michael Bungay Stanier.

Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company focused on coaching. He’s the author of The Coaching Habit – my personal favorite business book – and The Advice Trap. I’ve already preordered my copy – make sure you preorder yours too (link at the bottom of the show notes).

In this episode, we dive into:

What it takes to be a good manager,
5 Reasons why people resist being more coach-like,
Michael’s definition of coaching,
How coaching drives impact and engagement,
Coaching conversations, and a whole lot more.

Click that play button to listen! Don’t forget to subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts!

What is coaching?

This is my definition. It’s a behavior, and the behavior is this: can you stay curious a little bit longer? Can you rush to action and advice-giving a little bit more slowly?

It’s simple, but it’s difficult.

Impact, Engagement and Coaching

In essence, the two key drivers in an organization are impact, which is productivity, and meaning, which is engagement. Coaching is one of the key skills – I know it is, because research tells us – to drive both impact and engagement.

What do you want?

That is a great question to crack open a conversation, just to accelerate it into a “Let’s get down to brass tax here”. It’s an easy question to ask and hard to answer, because people often don’t know what they want, but it’s really powerful to hold them in that space. Because once you know what you want, it grounds you. When you’re grounded – that’s the basis for action and movement.

Another thing I really love about that question is to ask it of yourself, particularly when you’re feeling annoyed, discombobulated, knocked off balance, when things have been hard for you and you’re struggling with a particular relationship. Just go, “What do I want?”

Often we hesitate around difficult conversations, not because we’re scared of the scary conversations; we’re just not clear on what we want.

Michael’s advice for new leaders

Be skeptical about advice, because often, they don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re projecting all sorts of things. It’s the same as feedback. Feedback often tells you more about the person giving you the feedback than it is actually useful for you at that moment.