034 Deep Listening: Is Poor Listening Costing You with Oscar Trimboli


The number one reason people leave their managers is they say they’re not listened to. They’re ignored. – Oscar Trimboli

Hey everyone! Welcome back to the show. Today’s topic is all about Deep Listening: Is Poor Listening Costing You? This topic comes up in virtually every episode I’ve ever done, and yet it’s difficult to get a clear answer on how to do it effectively.

So my guest today will tell us exactly that and more. Oscar Trimboli is an executive coach and author of two books – Breakthroughs and Deep Listening. He’s a mentor and speaker to companies and leaders such as Google, Cisco, Microsoft, PayPal and others. He’s based in beautiful Sydney, Australia.

In this episode, we also dive into:

  • Growing up in a multicultural environment,
  • Listening beyond words,
  • How to develop your leadership muscle faster,
  • The various (and tragic) consequences of not listening,
  • How listening well can help you in your leadership career,
  • Giving attention and removing distractions,
  • The dirty, little secret of listening, and a lot lot more.

Make sure to listen until the end, and don’t forget to subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts!

Lead Your Team, Not Just the Individuals

For a first-time leader, they should always lead a team that they’ve never been a part of. You will develop your leadership muscle much faster.

The mistake I made and what I wasn’t set up for success is, despite the fact that I was promoted, I still wanted everybody to like me. I still wanted everybody to be my friend. I still treated everybody like a peer.

The relationship changes when you’re leading a team. One of the things I did really badly as a first-time leader is I didn’t lead the team; I led individuals. I never got the full power of the team working together and learning from each other, because I thought my role as a leader was to make each individual better, which is true, but that’s not your only job.

Know that you’re leading a system and you need to lead a team and you need to make sure that everybody knows and plays their position. You might need to change both the positions and the players on the team and you need to be OK with that.

But because I was too busy wanting to be liked, I didn’t make tough calls. I didn’t have the hard conversations; I didn’t have the courage to ask the group to do more than they had done in the past. I didn’t have the courage to look at what worked in the past may not be what’s going to work in the future.

Learn how to listen well

Not listening can cost lives, but for most of us every day at work, [not] listening not going to cost lives. [Not] listening is going to create confusion. [The lack of listening] is going to create conflict and chaos in the workplace, and later, unprofitable work.

It’s going to lead to lost customers. It’s going to lead to regulators inspecting the business. It’s going to lead to media writing adverse stories about you.

We spent the 20th century learning how to speak with influence, power and conviction. The leadership pack of the 21st century, and the leadership pack that would differentiate you, is the ability to listen.

Developing this muscle will give you a career differentiator. In a world that increasingly is dealing with more complex work, that requires more and more listening and a little less speaking.


Give attention

If you want to double your listening productivity straight away, switch off your cellphone. Switch off your laptop. Switch off any iPad tablet, any device that buzzes or beeps.

If you really want to listen, the most potent thing you can do is to give somebody your attention.


Links and Resources

Connect with Oscar: LinkedIn


Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words by Oscar Trimboli

Breakthroughs: How to confront assumptions by Oscar Trimboli