Often we hesitate around difficult conversations, not because we’re scared of the scary conversations; we’re just not clear on what we want. – Michael Bungay Stanier
Hey everyone! Welcome to the show. The topic we’re going to dig into right now is Why Coaching is the #1 Leadership Skill Today. I have a special guest with me, who, in my opinion, is the best person on the planet right now to talk about this particular topic – Michael Bungay Stanier.
Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company focused on coaching. He’s the author of The Coaching Habit – my personal favorite business book – and he has another one coming out on February 29th called The Advice Trap. I’ve already preordered my copy – make sure you preorder yours too (link at the bottom of the show notes).
In this episode, we dive into:
- What it takes to be a good manager,
- 5 Reasons why people resist being more coach-like,
- Michael’s definition of coaching,
- How coaching drives impact and engagement,
- Coaching conversations, and a whole lot more.
Click that play button to listen! Don’t forget to subscribe and rate us on Apple Podcasts!
What is coaching?
This is my definition. It’s a behavior, and the behavior is this: can you stay curious a little bit longer? Can you rush to action and advice-giving a little bit more slowly?
It’s simple, but it’s difficult.
In essence, the two key drivers in an organization are impact, which is productivity, and meaning, which is engagement. Coaching is one of the key skills – I know it is, because research tells us – to drive both impact and engagement.
What do you want?
That is a great question to crack open a conversation, just to accelerate it into a “Let’s get down to brass tax here”. It’s an easy question to ask and hard to answer because people often don’t know what they want, but it’s really powerful to hold them in that space. Because once you know what you want, it grounds you. When you’re grounded – that’s the basis for action and movement.
Another thing I really love about that question is to ask it of yourself, particularly when you’re feeling annoyed, discombobulated, knocked off balance, when things have been hard for you and you’re struggling with a particular relationship. Just go, “What do I want?”
Often we hesitate around difficult conversations, not because we’re scared of the scary conversations; we’re just not clear on what we want.
Michael’s advice for new leaders
Be skeptical about advice, because often, they don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re projecting all sorts of things. It’s the same as feedback. Feedback often tells you more about the person giving you the feedback than it is actually useful for you at that moment.
Links and Resources
Connect with Michael: LinkedIn
The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier (will be released on February 29, 2020)
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier
Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg Ph.D
Playing to Win: How Strategy Really Works by A.G. Lafley and Roger L. Martin
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant
Do More Great Work: Stop the Busywork. Start the Work That Matters by Michael Bungay Stanier
#MyBestQuestion on LinkedIn
Surround yourself with super competent, smart women.